A more personal post today.

There’s a certain flavor to my personality, deeply engrained in the genetics of the women that came before me. Secretive and poised, God-fearing and gritty, these are the women that raised me. I’ve given a lot of thought to that heritage, the past hips and walks and feet that led to me, sitting here, typing on my laptop in my library, in Fort Worth, Texas, United States, North America, Earth. But the other side of that heritage? Not so much. I am the blessed mother to three beautiful daughters: a calling more than coincidence. What flavor will they keep from me?

My sweet oldest is turning ten. Ten! I join the chorus of other mothers before me, dumbstruck by how fast the years have turned. My heart has twinges of breaking at the loss of my chubby-cheeked baby, but I can push them aside for breathless gratefulness to witness the person she is unfolding to be. I have come to terms with the fact that I am a jealous mother and I covet the time my girls have this side of adulthood.

On birthdays, I’m all about the kid. We do it pretty big, usually with both a party for friends and a family celebration. Ten feels like something we should have a milestone gift for. My girl isn’t very much into jewelry, or I would do a charm bracelet, like I got when I turned ten. I asked my friend who has three older boys if they did anything and she suggested a trip.

Done. We were able to look on Groupon and snag two nights at a kid-ish resort near us and she. will. be. so. surprised!

I also hand painted an heirloom box and asked her grandparents and uncle and aunt for letters speaking to her character and giving advice. Her father and I also have written letters. I have a beautiful idea of adding to it over the years.

My sweet girl is growing up, and that’s something I’m still coming to terms with. Even thought she’s not little anymore, I can still lean into the amazing person she is now and love it just as much as my sweet chubby-cheeked baby. To be honest, I think I love her even more as the years go by. A homemade apple cheesecake, Mama’s beef teriyaki bowls, and lots of quality time is on the schedule this week, prior to her BIG overnight trip surprise, and I intend to soak up every second of it.

“What would you like for your birthday?” I asked her recently. ” A digital watch and a giant teddy bear.” She said with conviction. These years between are sweet.

That’s what I want to remember most, not just that she was ten, but that she was herself at ten. She wanted a digital watch and a giant teddy bear and she will be thrilled by the indoor swimming pool and bowling alley and hotel-ness of her surprise. I want to remember her begin becoming the woman she will be.

I don’t know what she’ll keep from me.

I suppose that’s part of the joy of motherhood: to give them everything you can, and then watch what they carry forward.